For many months now I have been meaning to write a review of the Tantus Captain/Squirt dildo. Its curves and girth have been giving me pleasure for almost 10 months now, yet I'm only just getting around to writing up my review. The Captain and Squirt are the same dildo, the distinction in names is just a remnant of the days when Tantus offered their “Toys for Boys” line, a set of toys designed to appeal to men. Some of these were separate designs (such as the General), others used the same molds as some of Tantus’ other offerings, but were cast in black and red.
I picked up a red Captain direct from Tantus for about $28 after shipping was factored in, and have been a happy user for nine months now.
Irresistible force. That's the description that kept going through my mind for this big, girthy, smooth dildo while I was planning this review. Sporting 6-1/2” (insertable) of almost 2” in diameter (1-7/8”) silicone, the Squirt is undoubtedly a large dildo, but it's an accessible large dildo – one that an intermediate anal player can use and enjoy. Absolutely smooth, the Squirt is almost an extra-large Silk, with a twist – or perhaps a kink. Set on its base, the Squirt leans forward, ready for action, looking somewhat like a question mark in racer's starting blocks. The curve that gives it a quizzical look is one of the keys to its pleasure potential. These twists harness the thrusts of the Squirt and translate them into strong stimulation for your P- or G/A spots – multiple times per thrust.
Used anally, the Squirt is both gentle and yet quite aggressive. It’s gentleness comes from the smooth surface. Once you get it inside, there’s nothing to poke or rub – provided that you’ve used enough lube. Its aggressiveness comes from the bumps. Once it gets into your ass it finds your prostate and goes after it over and over. If you’re using the Captain vaginally, the same delicious bumps go after your G and A spots. In either case, the size of the Squirt means that whatever spot you’re going after will have a hard time hiding.
I think I might do a video bit at some point to show the action of the Squirt during thrusting, because it’s the first time I’ve seen a dildo with a design this dynamic. When you thrust in, the curves of the Squirt drive the tip up against the prostate. This isn’t merely a dildo that’s easy to point at your favorite spot, either – it works to channel the force of the thrust into force up against the prostate or G-spot. With every thrust of the Squirt you get stimulated twice – when you bottom out there’s another bump just where your prostate is. One thrust, two pleasure shocks. If you're using the Squirt vaginally the same design feature causes intense G-spot stimulation.
There’s another trick up the Squirt’s sleeve, too. If you insert it a little more than halfway up the first curve you can rock it back and forth, driving the tip up against the prostate or G-spot. Great for “milking” (where you stimulate the prostate until prostatic fluid starts to leak out without an orgasm). I don’t like milking all the time, but once and a while it’s fun. The bad news is that there isn’t quite enough length to the top bit to “milk” the A-spot, but vaginally it does reach the G-spot, where it can work its magic equally well
Excluding the curves the surface of the Squirt is completely smooth. A smooth dildo is often a positive for anal use, as texturing can create a bit too much sensation at the anus if you're really thrusting hard. There's no such problem with the Squirt. Stimulation there is aplenty, but it's mostly inside. You can feel the smooth silicone slide through your anus, but I've never had a problem with either irritation or anal overstimulation.
I'm a big fan of curved dildos for anal use. Not only do they improve the stimulation (both for the prostate and also for other internal organs), but they also make it easier to insert the dildo completely – especially when the dildo is a long one. The Squirt's curve makes it easy to enjoy full penetration, but sadly contributes to two downsides to the product. First, the angled head combined with the Squirt's large diameter makes it a little difficult to insert the first time, especially if you haven't warmed up with other toys. Secondly, the Squirt has a tendency to rotate during use. This is both a blessing and a curse – it's nice to have the tip of the dildo stimulate new areas, but it's also a bit annoying to have to twist the Squirt back where you want it. Fortunately Tantus makes it easy to tell where the Squirt's head is pointing. The embossed Tantus logo on the base is at the “back” side of the Squirt (the side away from the curve), so you can quickly tell by sight or feel which way the tip is pointing. Most of the time the rotation isn't a big deal since a firm grip will keep it in place, but the twisting can become annoying if you're using the Squirt in a harness, especially one that holds the dildo loosely.
While the base is more substantial than that used on the first-generation Tantus dildos (such as early Silks or the first-edition Compact/Sport/Luxury), it's still a bit small for a dildo of this size, and the Squirt would undoubtedly benefit from the beefier, oblong base Tantus is putting on their new dildos. For harness use, the Squirt works best in a tightly-fitting harness that holds it firmly- both to help prevent twisting, and to minimize the specter of dildo impotence. While Squirt fits in our Aslan Wonder Woman harness, it can’t be described as “perky” by any stretch of the imagination. The tighter, dildo-to-skin contact of our Sportsheets Latigo Leather harness (without the pad) held the Squirt at attention. During use we needed to readjust the Squirt's direction every once and a while, but not too often. At 1-7/8” in diameter you'll probably have to invest in a larger O-ring to hold the Squirt. It's worth it, though – the Squirt is as marvelous in a harness as it is in a hand.
The Captain ready for action in an Aslan Wonder Woman harness. Configured for doggy-style pegging (the tip points down for maximum prostate stimulation).
Since the Squirt is 100% silicone, it's completely bodysafe, compatible with a large variety of lubes - oil, water, and even some of the highest-quality silicone lubes (but do test first, just in case). Once you're done it can be cleaned with soap and water, and if you want to sterilize it (either from personal choice, or because you're moving between partners or orifices) you can bleach or boil it without any risk. This flexibility (combined with the physical flexibility of the material) makes 100% silicone my favorite sex-toy material.
Sadly, this is not simply a review, it's a eulogy as well. Tantus discontinued the Captain at the end of last year, and they recently discontinued the Squirt as well, moving it onto the “closeout items” page. Time to hang the black crepe on the toybox... The good news is that you can now get either a Captain (red) or a Squirt (in shiny purple) for only $22 + shipping, and Metis says that they have quite a few still in stock. I heartily recommend going to www.tantusonline.com to get some cut-rate bliss, even if it's only for your toy “hope chest”. Practice and relax, and you'll be enjoying the Squirt in no time.
Tantus Squirt/Captain: 9 out of 10
Pros: Highly stimulating, many ways to use this toy. The curves and size make this a phenomenal prostate or G-spot stimulator, either hand-held or in a harness.
Cons: The base is a bit weak for the size of the toy. The curve at the head makes anal insertion a bit difficult
